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Friday, March 6, 2009

They all lied to you.

"You are not your job. You're not the car you drive. You are not the clothes you wear, the things you own, or the friends you....
"You are not your job. You're not the car you drive. You are not the clothes you wear, the things you own, or the friends you have."

Yes you are.

Take away your job, everything you own, all the people you hold dear. Strip yourself down to that essence in the depth of yourself that you call "I". If "I" doesn't manifest itself in the way you carry out your job - regardless of what your job is-, in the way you drive and maintain your car -be it a brand new Mercedes or an 80s pile of rusting metal -, if "I" doesn't choose the things and people you have around you in your personal life and by which you are perceived by others ... then "I" is just an illusion, a lie you keep telling yourself to avoid admitting that you are someone you might not like.

The truth is, everything you do defines you, even the way you sit when you are doing absolutely nothing.

How do you decide whether or not to introduce yourself to someone you've never seen before ? You watch that person for a while, take a look at what she's wearing, how she carries herself, and if after a while you estimate she'd be someone you'd like to introduce yourself to, you try the verbal approach.

"She is not her clothes, she is not the drink she is holding in her hand, she is not how drunk she allowed herself to be"

Yes she is

"He is not who he pretends to be, he is not whether or not he says 'bless you' when you sneeze, he is not where his hand is when he coughs"

Yes he is

Everything you do, everything you pretend you are, everything you hide, everything you unconsciously find yourself feeling, not only says a lot about You, but most often defines and is You. The fact that you need to pretend to be someone you are not at times, is an almost certain indicator that there is something, or a lot, about yourself that you don't like.

There is one way to fix this...

"Suicide"

... okay two ways:

Look at yourself, look at your car, look at your clothes, look at the way you carry yourself, look at the things you own, look at the way you carry out your job, look at your house, listen to yourself talking, pay attention the words coming out of your own mouth, look at your failures, especially the ones you keep doing over and over every day, reveal your fears, stop cutting yourself slack, accept the fact that this might be all there is, and by the end, you will have introduced yourself to You.

Whatever you don't like about this little stranger needs to go, or it will live with you for the rest of your life, no matter how hard you try to hide it.

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